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CMO's log

Posted on Thu Aug 13th, 2009 @ 6:12pm by

CMO's Log stardate 62223.69

We've had a brief break in the action, though from what I've been told the drones are still working down in engineering. I've got my own immediate problems though, the Captain's condition hasn't improved even with the high dose of radiation that I bombarded her with. My plan now is to reprogram some of the borg nanoprobes to selectively attack the virus itself. I hope for her sake that it helps, I don't have any other equipment here to properly treat her, at this point the Klingon's sickbay looks state of the art. This is the most tenacious bug I have ever seen or heard of, I just hope that I can hold it off until I can quarantine her. I'm afraid that with her current progression she'll fully change in a matter of days as opposed to a matter of months like I had originally suspected. I'll update with more results when I know more.

On a personal note, I think I am starting to lose it from an event earlier today, my work is the only thing keeping me sane at the moment, keeping me focused. Lt. Butler and I were hiding behind a panel when a drone advanced on our position, without even thinking I stood up and fired at it. I did it without hesitation, without regret, and now when I think about it has really shaken me, not so much in the fact that I did it, but the fact that when thinking back about it I didn't feel anything and that is making me physically sick. Not a single shred of remorse, no moment of hesitation, no pondering the situation back and forth, nothing. I know it was self defense but this is the first creature that I have killed. Some would argue that the lifeforms that the borg are made of are already dead but I see it more as a virus, a disease that can be cured. There are many, many cases of borg being liberated from the collective and returned back to normal life but, with the simple click of a phaser I have denied someone the chance to be cured. Maybe it is the stress of everything starting to make me crack, when we get back to Genesis I'll order a full work up on myself and meet with the counselor.

I just hope that this isn't a sign of things to come.


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