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Don't Say Goodbye

Posted on Sat Feb 26th, 2011 @ 5:39pm by

Mission: Flawed. Season 2, Episode 3
Location: Various
Timeline: Recent Past

OLD

Eight Months Ago...
Zarinn 2 Orbital Station


Alex pulled her tight against his body. His hands took hold of her shirt and nearly ripped it as he lifted it up over her head and off her body. The momentary break in kisses soon engaged once again as he let the tingle of his hands against her soft flash fill him. It all felt so wrong. It all felt so right. All the pressure and stress he had been holding in for months seemed to start slipping away the more he let himself fall into the moment.

The mistrust Jadzia had been feeling against Alex started to slip away...he could be using her again like everyone else had in her life up to this point but for the moment she felt alive...wanted. Her hands struggled with his belt buckle. "Perhaps...we...should move this to the bed?" She whispered against his lips.

Alex didn't answer. Didn't think. He simply held her tight and stood up lifting her along in the process. His muscles didn't fight back. The excitement and endorphins in his body numbing the pain he would have felt otherwise. With a turn he dropped the pair of them on the bed letting his hands explore her nubile body.

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NEW

Three Months Ago...
USS Serenity

Xander cradled the small child in his arms as he continued to watch the monitor. It appeared that they were nearing some kind of space station. He could only wonder what kind of station would be this far out or for that matter would be protected by mines like it was. He turned in the chair and stood up to make his way to the window of Brianna's quarters. His eyes settled on the old space station floating in the nothingness of space. Like a balloon hovering in the black, it made him realize just how insignificant they all were.

"Look at that Mac," he said gently as he turned ever so slightly to let the baby see out the transparent aluminum, "The universe is so large. So vast. You and I are so insignificant in the complex machine that is existence. So tiny so fragile." His hand reached up and cupped Mac's head under the chin as he stared at the tiny child, "For example. I could snap your neck right here. Right now. It wouldn't take any effort at all. Like turning a knob. I could snuff out your life and you wouldn't even know it. The universe wouldn't even skip a beat. Time would go on and eventually no one would even know you existed."

Xander took his hand off the child's throat and turned his attention back out into space. "Maybe that's the point. Make a difference. Leave a legacy," he considered, "You, my son will be that legacy. You and your brothers and sisters. Together you will shape the things to come. And I will guide you."

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Eight Months Ago...
Zarinn 2 Orbital Station

Jadzia sat on the edge of the bed as Alex patched up her forehead. She didn't cry out this time even though the pain was intense enough it made her eyes water. Alex worked silently, Jadzia wouldn't invade his mind to read his thoughts she thought it was rude. She nearly laughed, it was rude to invade someone's mind and yet she had slept with someone's fiance. She looked away and blushed, only the slightest guilt came across her heart...Jadzia wanted to feel Alex's hands on her skin again, wanted to hear him moan as he touched her. She swore under her breath and bit her lip.

"You hit your head pretty hard," Alex said quietly. The last thing he wanted to do was talk about what just happened. He wasn't even sure why he allowed it to happen. He just did. Now he would have to live with it. However, for some reason he didn't regret it. He felt much more relaxed than he had in ages. His mind seemed clearer. He now understood things that his tunnel vision of finding Craig had been hiding from him. And for now, he knew that keeping this woman safe so that she could move on in life was important. "Listen, I... want to thank you for what you did back there..." he finally admitted.

She looked up into his eyes. "Which part? Saving you from those damn Orions or sleeping with you?" Jadzia diverted her eyes and swore again, this time a little more loudly. "I'm sorry Alex...I...thank you for stitching me up...the last thing I need is another scar." She said quietly. Jadzia shivered remembering his hands over the scars that Craig had been so kind to bestow on her. Alex had been so gentle with her.

"You know a doctor could probably get rid of those with a dermal regenerator," Alex said trying to ignore the question of what he was thanking her for. In truth it was probably a little of both, but given that he had lived his life, as far as he knew, keeping secrets rather than sharing them, he figured it better to just let her believe what she will.

"Those scars are after a dermal regenerator. Craig is skilled with leaving scars...physical and emotional. I noticed that Brianna sometimes still walks with a limp if she is tired."

Alex frowned. He really didn't want to hear Brianna's name at that moment, much less have his mind be drawn to her and everything he did to her himself. Sending her away and now Jadzia. He thought he did it because he was protecting her and giving himself the room he needed to do what was necessary, but now... Now he had to wonder if he sent her away because part of him felt this might be his last mission. He finished stitching Jadzia up and began putting the first aid kit away. "You should get some sleep," he suggested, "You're going to need some rest if you intend to recover."

"You wont be far?" She asked, hugging her knees to her chest. Her reaction scared her, she never needed anyone but it seemed that Jadzia needed Alex. "Nevermind." She said quietly embarrassed that she needed him, her captor . "I'm sorry." She said getting up off the bed, bringing up Brianna was wrong...Alex loved her and Jadzia knew it, felt it.

"Don't worry about it," Alex said calmly so as not to betray any thoughts or feelings, "I'll be right here. Now come on over here and lay down." He patted the bed and smiled warmly.

Jadzia gave him a small smile, it was the first time that he had actually genuinely smiled at her. She moved to the bed and laid down, "you can't let me sleep for more than a couple of hours at a time." She whispered, her eyes already closing. Jadzia was quickly asleep, instead of a deep dreamless sleep that normally came with a head injury she was back in the cellar. Rest never came easily to the wicked.

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Ten Months Ago...
Earth

Brianna found herself at this spot more often now then she had in previous times to Earth. She stood in front of the field of wheat, the Rocky Mountains off to the distance, the caps covered in snow. The sun was starting to set, casting colours of pinks, oranges and purples across the sky. The wind took her long jet black hair and made it dance behind her. She smiled, closing her eyes as the wind seemed to embrace her, she inturn embraced her unborn child.

Alex stood quietly taking in the view. He had set up this meeting and yet was unsure whether it was a good idea or not. He wanted to, no needed to see Brianna one more time. After all, this was probably going to be the last time. He approached her quietly from behind and stood next to her saying nothing as he followed her own gaze out into the fields.

She silently took his hand, even after these months apart they still didn't need to say anything to each other to know what couldn't be expressed any other way. Tears stung her eyes as she continued to look out at the mountains. If Alex needed to see her...she needed it more. Brianna opened her mouth to say something but the words caught in her throat.

"This might be the last time I ever see you," Alex finally stated taking care to keep his eyes off of Brianna for fear of losing control of his emotions, "I've found him Brianna. I've found him and one way or another this is all going to end. I just want you to understand this. You don't have to live in fear anymore."

The tears that had been threatening spilled from her eyes. "I would gladly live in fear if it meant that I kept you by my side Alex. Don't tell me that you will not be coming home to me...you have to. Our child needs you.... I need you." She whispered.

"It's too late for that now Brianna. I've learned things. Know things. Our lives can never be what they were," Alex tried to explain. He hated having to keep secrets from her. He hated having to protect her like this. He hated ever bringing her into his life like this, "When next you see me, I won't be the man you fell in love with. I'm not even sure I'm that man now."

"We all carry our battle scars Alex." Brianna said, finally looking at him. "Look at me. I am not the same woman since Craig kidnapped and tortured me but I survived...I let someone in again...I let you in." She took his face in her hands. "I will always...always love you Alex. Do you hear me? Whatever happens..." Brianna shook head and let him go. She stared at him and took his hand, pressing it firmly to her stomach, the child flipping up and down, kicking and wiggling. "Do you feel our child? You come back for the baby...if not for me...our baby." Her voice trembled.

"I'm sorry Brianna. This was a mistake," Alex said turning away from her and taking a few steps to stare at a generally blank space on the ground. He knew it wasn't going to be easy, but he had no idea that it was going to be this difficult. He had forgotten just how hard it was to be around her when he knew he couldn't. "I should have never come to you. Not like this. I love you too much and all I seem to do is hurt you more and more. In some ways, I suppose in some ways that makes me even worse than Craig. Regardless, once this is over I will find you again. I just can't promise you will like what comes back."

"Don't you dare compare yourself to Craig! He tortured me...nearly killed me and laughed the whole time he was doing it. You are nothing like Craig. You could never hurt me." Brianna stepped forward and wrapped her arms around him. "I will love you...you will always be Alex to me."

Alex closed his eyes and let the warmth of her embrace comfort him. It had been so long since he had felt safe anywhere. The touch made him wish that they could freeze this moment in time. However, the truth was they had to keep moving forward with their lives, "I want you to transfer to the Serenity. Commander Patterson has need of a diplomat. And he has agreed to watch over you and our child. I know I asked you to leave the Samurai, and I know it's not fair of me to ask you this, but I must. As unbelievable as it is going to sound, Earth is no longer safe."

Brianna nearly laughed, "I know...it hasn't been for awhile. I have already sent my parents off world. They didn't want to go but I told them that they had no choice but to listen to me. Your lessons have rubbed off on me." She smiled against his shoulder. "I will request the transfer once I return from leave. We have the rest of the weekend...come home with me...just for tonight." Brianna couldn't let him go...not yet.

Alex thought about it for a second. "If I stay it will make everything more difficult. I don't know that I will be able to go. I don't know that I will let you go," he finally admitted feeling a small tear beginning to well up in his eye.

She secretly wished she could keep him with her. Brianna wished that Craig didn't exist and they could be the happy family that she dreamed of. "I know...then stay until the stars come out."

"Alright. Until the stars come out," he agreed leaning over to kiss her forehead. It would likely be the last time they would get a chance like this and there was little reason to think a few extra hours would change anything. He found himself slowly increasing his grip on her. Not enough to hurt her, just enough to let her know that he wasn't about to let go.

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To Be Continued...

 

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